snips and snails and puppy dog tails

...that's what my practice is made of. Or at least it feels like it.

With #2 on break all month and #3 simply being everything that comes with being 10 months old, bits and pieces are all I've managed to cobble together. A few minutes of Sa Ta Na Ma here, a bit of bowing there. Tuning in when I feel like pulling my hair out, sunshine songing when I need to remember how much I absolutely crazy LOVE the small people I'm currently dedicating my existence to. Like I said, snips and snaps.

And I'm OK with that. I'm aiming for some brand of consistency, and a formal 40 day may just be too much.

Along with that, I'm aiming to blog even just a wee bit daily. I haven't been (obviously...AGHHHHHH how can it possibly be that I haven't written here since the 4th!?!??!?! Time doesn't fly, it travels at warp speed!) since my intent was until recently to resume the 40 day...which started to feel like pressure, like something looming. Which it shouldn't. Which made me think that what I'm doing is OK.

Acceptance.

Hard for those who suffer from never-enough-itis.

I have not fallen off the face of the earth...

...just recovering from multiple sinus infections, bronchitis-like croupy-ness and one infected eyelid gland in the wee people. I am one tired mama.

I have, however, despite the odds, managed to continue with some meager vestige of my practice. Not that it "counts" for a 40 day challenge, but at least I kept some sort of momentum going. Chanting at 4 am while you hold a feverish baby is worthy of some credit I think? I hope so, because I'm pretty darn pround for not letting everything fall apart.

The "pause" has given me some time to reflect about how I go about things too. I always feel the need to push through, am so fabulous at applying self-guilt I should hold some sort of record, and am great at chucking it all if I can't do it "just right". Well, I managed not to this time. I resorted to what little bits I could when I could, and I have to say it really helped save my sanity at times. I have also been mulling this:

The point is the process, not the finish line.

For some reason that concept is just not a comfortable fit for me. It makes me twitchy. Being forced to have time to reflect at this point was probably good. Wasn't there someone that said something like "if it's easy, it's not worth doing"? I generally like easy and run far far away from hard. Stay tuned, this is just getting good...